Harmless Lies & Unsaid Truths- Do They Matter?



Source: www.thisislondon.co.uk


Every time we are faced with an unpleasant situation our immediate reaction is to either find a way to avoid it, or, if we have some thinking time, craft a logical explanation to rationalize our actions.

At work, missed a deadline- point out how the person in the other team never came back with the background data that you had requested him for and hence you could not meet the deadline. Business review with the boss- simple, get your creative juices flowing and fill the damn client sheet with meetings that never happened and the phone calls that never got through. Meeting with the HR on recent spurt in attrition in your team- tell them how you made every possible effort to bring them up to speed but there is only so much you could do and how attractive compensation from others is luring them away. 

Every one of us has been in such situations where we resort to a course of action which though not in line with our personal values is still the favored option. No one ever joins an organization thinking that, I will be a lousy employee or a lousy manager and I will lie my way through tough situations. Each one of us wants to do a good job, work hard and be appreciated for his/her contributions. But why is it so that we are forced to depart from our favored value driven actions to seemingly harmless lies which appear to be highly logical responses and do save us the headache and heart burn till the next encounter??

My view here is that the ephemeral nature of employer-employee relationship is at the heart of this deteriorating situation. ‘Job for life’- the motto is dead and gone, no longer people join companies with this view and even the employers while expecting loyalty from you, don’t expect you to be under any impression that your job is for life. Your job is yours till the time you are performing and you are fitting with the organizations chosen course of action for future. The employer-employee relationship needs a constant feed of performance and rewards respectively, from both the parties involved to keep it going. Thus, in this pressure to keep this relationship going, we end up acting in ways which while being against our personal values, help us keep this equation balanced.

While I will not suggest that organizations need to change their policies and start mirroring state bureaucracies where you may hold jobs for life, but is it possible for organizations to transform the nature of this relationship from transactional one to a relationship based on love, trust and respect. A relationship which while valuing results does not forget the person bringing those results and appreciates him/her for their contribution. I understand that bringing this kind of a change warrants a change in the DNA of the organization and is indeed a daunting endeavor but one step at a time will be a good start.

As a suggested first step, is it possible for us to broaden our relationship with our employees? An employee who comes to work for us is a person first and we could start by connecting with him/her on that level. Our managers while pushing for outcomes, can they spend some time knowing the people in their team? Simple things like a kind understanding word, an appreciative pat on the back and a congratulatory note on welcoming a new dog to the household may seem like very trivial gestures but if done with the right intent, they can have a very lasting impacting in cementing that employer-employee bond.

Your employees do have a life when they step out of the office and they have family, friends, fiancée’s and girlfriends who have an equal part to play in enabling your employees to contribute to building your company. So why don't we start by thanking them for their contribution and telling them how much we appreciate their role in enabling these people to give their best at the workplace. Indra Nooyi (CEO, Pepsico) in a recent interview to NDTV’s Barkha Dutt mentioned how she personally wrote to parents of all her direct reports, thanking them and telling them the great contribution their children were making in building Pepsico. 

Harmless lies and unsaid truths, may appear  inconsequential but they are like little termites eroding the strength of an already weak and strained relationship. Every little lie dents the relationship further and even if we choose not to admit it, it eventually does accumulate into an insurmountable mountain of lies thereby leading to severing of the relationship. The idea of this post was not to give you an exhaustive list of suggestions to improve but to draw your attention to something which appears insignificant but can have serious implications on our working and personal life. I hope it does get you thinking and encourages you to do what is "right".